INTRODUCTION
NEWS
FEATURES
TRAVELS
PHOTOS
ARTICLES
SITE MAP
CONTACT INFO
Favorite Food:
IAMs Beef
(Big chunks - I ain't no sissy!)
Bitch I'd Most Like To Marry:
Remember that babe from Lady and the Tramp! Boy oh boy would I love to paw her!
When Am I Happiest?:
The cool feel of ceramic tiles on my stomach while laying on the balcony during a hot summer day is as close to bliss as this dog can hope for.
Favorite Color:
Hey, dog's are color blind. You trying to start a fight or something? I'll bite your ankle!
Favorite Movie:
She is such a babe! What more could you ask from a female? Class, style, groomed nails!
Favorite Book:
Sometimes you just want to go and shoot your human. But not to despair, there is help and with a little gentle training and the proper amount of peeing on the rug, you CAN teach them to be your best friend.
Favorite CD:
Hey hanging with the home pack and watchin' the bitches walk by while listening to Snoop is just the bomb! Now, all I got to do now is train Mike to add a little Bud to my water dish.
A
Few Questions to the Master of the House - Interview with Tranda
Q. What does 'Tranda' mean?
A. Its the name of Mike's former company. I think he gave me the name
to make his former partners mad - it worked! The name in Chinese means
to "speak loudly" in one form of translation. However, as I
am a well educated and mild mannered type of guy, I only live up to my
name when it is really necessary, like when that vile cat next door
crosses me.
Q. How did you meet Mike?
A. Well, this is a long story, but kind of cute. He being the workaholic that he is, was returning home from the office at about 2am one morning. I was just hanging out on the road and here I see this bozo on a chopper riding home in the middle of the night. I'm thinking, "Jeeze, don't these guys ever just curl up in their bed and sleep?" As it happens, he turns around and comes back. I figure, he is probably lonely and take pity on the poor thing and go over to him. People always are a little scared so I waged my tail to let him know I didn't plan on biting his head off. Well, like most humans, that was all it took, and he was hooked. But it was ok as I was already 2 months old then and it was time for me to set out and see the world. I made the decision right then and after a little encouragement, my human picked me up and put me up front on the motorcycle tank. True I was a little tike then, but I've always been the adventurous sort and I immediately let my ears go back and put my tongue out to taste the wind.
Q. What is most important in choosing a good toy?
A. With the number of toys on the market this is a very good question, and a very difficult one for humans to master! First and foremost, if it doesn't fly I'm not interested. No amount of squeakiness or so called "beef-flavor" can compensate for a toy that can't be thrown. What is the point after all? It is to get your humans out of the house and give them some exercise! If we can't let them throw a good bone, its the same leaving them on the couch watching Richard Simmons!
Q. What do you do if the new dog on the block doesn't let you sniff their butt? A. Communication and a proper introduction is very important when starting any relationship. However, when you move to a new neighborhood, one often can feel really nervous and forget about polite courtesies. If the new pup doesn't follow the rules, take the high moral ground and don't immediately growl. Let them get used to the environment, its probably just nervousness and they will get over it in time.
Q. Where is your favorite place to be scratched?
A. Well this is a really interesting question. I've found that there
is definitely difference between when I'm scratching and when someone
else is scratching me. It so easy to find the right spot when I'm doing
it myself, but when a new human tries to find the spot, I find it makes
things a lot easier if I just take their hand with my paw and show them
where they should rub. Its really not their fault, I mean humans don't
really understand dog anatomy so they just need to be shown how its done.
Q. What do you want to tell all the human's reading this?
A. Well, I find it very funny that you all haven't caught on yet, that we are really talking about you and all those annoying habits of yours when you think we are sniffing each other's tails! That's all for show and so is the "cat hating", it all started as a trick to get more bones when we made it seem like we were barking at the cats. Our humans are so gullible, they always fell for it. However, the cat's got a little out of hand when they learned about the trick and used running up the tree to get a sympathy vote for "the poor little kitty" which seems to guarantee the good canned food for at least a week. Since we dogs generally only get a bone out of the deal as a rule we have been a little unforgiving of the theft of our intellectual property. What is really annoying though is when the doggy-union decided to boycott chasing cats in protest to their use of our ideas, they started to set us up by walking into us when we weren't looking, or even jumping on us to make it seem like we were chasing them - talk about playing dirty just for a can of the good stuff! Anyway, wise-up humans, the clues are all around you, we have been the leaders of the free world since the late 1950s! Since you finally know the truth, we expect you to get that lazy butt off of OUR couch!
(Updated 2004-03-10)